We love you to the Moon and back, our Christine, miss your laugh

I sit Under the moon tonight, memories of you, your smile

 But still thankful for all, never forgetting, you heal my soul

 

Your love never letting go, of any of us

This was love, pure unconditional love,

 where you did not have to be good enough

 

And I remember

 

Mill Green, the round field, crescent green

children’s homes

Cola bottles made in ice cube trays

Anticipation in my young bones

That you were always going to come for me

With blackcurrant and strawberry chewits,

with kisses, and giggles

standing proudly behind my buggy

my sisters, my brother and me

‘An I knew I was loved,

In the arms of my sister, escaping our mum

 

You see

 

Our Christine, she was fierce,

She’d knock anybody out who deserved it

she was my safety, she was our trust

me, Ethel and colin, all of us.

 

I know things, before being adopted

But they never asked me that

Just took as a fact,

that I was subnormal

 

The social workers told me

 all were embarrassed about me

A brown skinned baby

In an Irish family

 

Your love never left, went to the moon and back

I knew I was part of a family

Within a family of orphans,

No mum, No dad

I knew my big sister, always loved me

She had my back

 

she would push and walk, me for miles and miles

away from harm or back for tea

My mouth full of sweets,

Shirley Bassy and Showaddywaddy songs

as we walked along

 

 

In the heart of middle class

In the rush of then change

I was adopted into my family

Without much say

But remember talking to mum

about my brother and sisters

and the loss that we couldn’t be together

I needed you

I want to sleep afraid of the dark

As a young child I had a broken heart

 

An I Rember for you, I was mourning

you told me I was performing for you

Before I was walking

And that is how our craig found me,

On the 18th of August my son’s birthday

My sister and me met at the train station

Hugged and laughed x

 

I remember that feeling of letting you down

Just you didn’t feel it

You knew me before me, and before they believed us

 

It’s really filled my heart, that the love YOU, had and the love you created

 

With your Les and children and grandchildren,

our kid you made it,

 

your happiness, and strength, your loyalty your trust

 

could never not be in awe of you, big sister

 

I hope one day that we will all be together

 

Laugh together, brother and sisters

That there is a next zone then here

That is peaceful and kinder

Then the scars that were stepped on, by those who never knew better

And maybe we get to all meet in the garden, with Trees, and the squirrels

without judgement or hurt

to laugh, swear, be bad bitches and Joke

We love you to the Moon and back,

Our Christine,

we love you more

 

Your sister, Michelle x